*~*Special Edition*~*RMI: Battle of the Class Stars!*~*
Announcer guy: So yeah, we're here at Eastmoor Academy in Cols., OH. Right now, the battle of the character classes is going on. Oh, look, here's an onlooker right now...!
Puju: Ohhh hey, ashi! it's the battle of the character classes and lots of things are going on...
Ertai: TIIIIIME MAAAAAGE!!! REPRESENT!!!
Xelloss: Trick-STERRRRRRR!! WHO YOU WIT?!?!
Puju: Um...yeah...^^' So anyway, lots of people are going nuts and stuff or whatever...anyway, I got rejected at the door!! I'm in the humanities room now..;_; I HATE THIS! I need to be in there, man! But whatever...I just want to go home and be asleep...or online...or something.... I wish I was there...DAMMIT! I -hate- this....oh wait!... just offered to sneak me in! YES! WHY is he -SO- the gr8est ever! Oh... but just reminded me of ...ppl payed to get in and I can just get in for free through influence of Timmons? No....well, actually, likes me, and she hates , so I could prolly get in! Hmm....should I even try? She won't like me if it doesn't work...it's not worth it; ashi, was the one who said it wasn't worth it to begin with....
Zephyre: You shouldn't go. It's a waste of time.
Puju: And sitting here like a dumbass with and isn't?!
Zelgadis: Based on principle -ALONE-, you shouldn't be in there.
Puju: >_<# It's not fair! And is getting mad at them...I'm so lucky he likes me more than -them-
Lina: Yup.....Uh huh.....lucky....
Puju: XD Yeah right....you need to go home.....
Ertai: *from auditorum b/c he tricked * POPCORN!!
Xelloss: *in stands of Tricksters* SNO CONES!!
Together: THE GREATEST!! ^_____________________________________________^
Puju: <_< -------> -_- ----------> >_<# Damn my ethics...
Amelia: It's injust for them to just sit in there and act like you're there too!
Puju: Well, -you're- inside....
Amelia: <((^_^'))>
Atalya: They're -still- mean, regardless of where -we- are!
Filia: *snobbily* They're Mazoku. If 'fair' was their main concern, would they act the way they do?
Ertai: So we're bad. -We- don't deny it like -some- inhuman fictional characters!
Filia: ~_< WHAT did you SAAAAAAAY?!
Ertai: ^____________^ ' Nothing, nothing ...GO TIME MAGES!!
Xelloss: The Tricksters -SO- own them.
Filia: Priests are really cool though....
Atalya: GO ASSASSINS!!!
Everyone: <_<
Atalya: What? I like their hair and dresses.
Everyone: O_O -----> *facefault*
Amelia: Priests are just so....not me, you know? I'm rooting for the summoners, they've got cool little tiaras!
Zephyre: For someone who runs in circles claiming justice, you certainly are superficial...
Amelia: <((^_^'))>
Puju: Look! It's starting!
* The Battle is starting off! And now to discuss the rules and regulations. All classes begin with 0 points and can gain points through battle tactics, spell choices [overkill-spells get negative bonuses], recoveries [health, magic, or otherwise, including comebacks], successful blocks [shoo-in for shield-wielding classes], grace, and as always, entertainment! The Classes being represented are as follows: Lancers [last year's winners], Knights, Monks, Time Mages, Wizards, Assassins, Tricksters, Ninjas, Priests, and Summoners. They have all been reduced to ONE weapon [since last year's fiasco of the dual-weapon wielding Ninja... ^_^ '], ONE shield [if that doesn't conflict with the class] An armor of choice, ONE accessory, [save for Angel Rings as well as Chantage, due to their 'Reraise' casting, because of last year's ever-living Thieves ^_^ ' Those are illegal.] ONE area of skill use, and NO movement enhancements of any kind, other than ones provided.
The judges are just some people that we picked that have no idea what they're doing but we're giving them lots of money, so they don't mind! Um, anyway, let the battle begin: On your mark, get set, KICK ASS!!!*
*The Winners of the last BOTCC, will start off, and that would be the Lancers! ...They've chosen a jump attack to start off our event!*
Puju: Who do you think will win -this- time? (Ashi: If anyone is wondering how he got in, our algebra/calculus/college prep teacher was passing out dead tickets [but they had to miss the intro where all the participants came out really cool and stuff. Only lasted about 20 minutes...] to get the kids outta the classroom so that the teachers could have some quiet time. ^_^ He's great like that....but I'd still never go.)
Lina: The Wizards have to. They don't have a choice. I'm not giving them one.
Puju: ^_^ ' Alright then...anyone else?
Gourry: Knights should put on a good show. They're good people.
Atalya: Assassins! They look too cool to lose!!
Puju: ^_^ ' Right...
Zelgadis: My money's on the monks.
Amelia: Summoners. They're strong enough to take the gold, I say!
Filia: The Priests have got it in the bag. No doubt.
Ertai: Time Mages. They're a Oracle-Summoner Mix, what with Meteor and Don't Act, Don't Move, and Stop! It's gotta be them!
Xelloss: Tricksters. They'll get the other classes to defeat themsleves. It's what we do. They'll own up to their trade and take it all home!
Puju: Interesting...
Zephyre: Or just plain stupid...
Puju: You don't have a vote?
Zephyre: I vote they'll all get themselves killed and no one wins.
Puju: ...that's a little morbid, don't you think?
Zephyre: Yes. Yes I do.
Puju: ...
*The Ninja is moving ahead...and attacking the Knight...Nice Block!*
*Knight breaks Ninja's armor!*
Gourry: YES!!!! GET 'IM!!!!
*Assassin moves up some levels....where's -she- going?*
Atalya: Where -IS- she going?
*Trickster is moving to the upper levels as well...is something going on that we should know about?*
Xelloss: Of course not, silly color commentator. ^________________^
*Priest's moving up...and whacks Time Mage with her Mace of Zeus...looks like it hurt!*
Filia: YES!!!! HOW DO YA LIKE -THEM- APPLES, MAZOKU?!?!
Ertai: *The Time Mage is losing to the Priest* WAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!! T_T CAST DON'T ACT, YOU IDIOT!!!!!!
Xelloss: Where's the Trickst-oh. XD! Good hiding place! No one will find him -there- ....! NOW he can sneak up on those other losers...
Atalya: *sees Assassin sneakin up on Trickster* yes...yes....get him, GET HIIIIIIIIIIM!!!!
Xelloss: *wonders at Atalya's excitement then realizes it* TELEPORT, YOU MORON!!!! SHE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!!!
*Trickster is eliminated...by Assassin*
Xelloss: DAMMIT!!!! *leaves*
Amelia: I've never -seen- him so angry....
Filia: WHAT are you DOING!?!? I'm TELLING YOU TO HOLY!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Priest has got Time Mage on the ropes! If she would just remember the incantation for Holy, it would make things go a whole lot quicker!*
Ertai: Calm down. It's NOT that big a-AW, COME ON! STOP IS -PERFECTLY- LEGAL!!!! IDIOTS!!!!
*Penalty called on Time Mage for illegal useage of spell 'Stop'. Five minutes with the "Silence" penalty spell on for Time Mage. This could spell victory for the Priests!*
*Priests Cheer and start shouting Holy's incantation, but it's all slurred...*
Filia: Can't Remember...Can't REMEMBER?!?!? WHAT KIND OF PRIEST -ARE- YOU?!!
Gourry: *chuckles* One that doesn't know any good spells....?
Filia: *growls* QUIET YOU!!!
Gourry: (((_O\\
Lina: *looking at Titan Tron* Where are some of the other classes? A LOT of them are still in the game, but not being covered...like Wizards. They aren't even UP there!
Atalya: Well, Miss Lina, actually...the wizards were disqualified for using Death, which is a banned spell...
Lina: Banned? Dis-DisQUALIFIED?!
Atalya: ...
Lina: I'm...I'm...OUTRAGED!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO GO -COMPLAIN- ABOUT THIS!!!!!!! WHERE IS THE MANAGER?!?!?!?!?!?!
Zephyre: Why is this whole thing, THAT serious?
Gourry: Lina, aren't you getting a little carried away?
Zel: A "Little"?
Lina: NO WORDS FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!!!!!!!
Everyone in the Stadium: O_O *all look at puju, who is sitting next to Lina. They look as if they want an explanation...*
Puju: ^ ^ ' There are no words....none....heh heh .... ^ ~ ^ '
*...Aaaaaand THAT'S the buzzer for the end of the first half! The Statistics are as follows:
1) Priests, with 972 points...
2) Time Mages, with 826 points...
3) Assassins, with 743 points...
4) Monks, with 624 points...
5) Lancers, with 523 points...
6) Ninjas, with 431 points...
7) Knights, with 312 points...
8) Wizards, with 211 points...*~*DISQUALIFIED*~*
9) Tricksters, with 110 points...*~*DEFEATED*~*
10) and Summoners, with a total of 0 points...wait...there's a summoner in the Battle??
*Uh, Anyway, the battle is starting back up now and our leaders from the last round, the Priests, will start off!*
Amelia: Hey! HEY! LOOK! Isn't that Miss Ashi down there???
All: *turn heads to where Amelia is pointing*
Puju: Where? I don't see her...
Filia: Me niether...
Lina: Over there! By the judge's table!
Zephyre: You mean 'AT the judge's table'.
Lina: Who asked you?!
Zephyre: Puju did, actually!
Ertai: OMG!!! THEY'RE GIVING OUT FREE CHERRY COKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
All: ._.'
Ertai: ...I mean, 'let's go get some'...?
All: ^_^
*At the judge's table...*
Puju: So, uh, Ashi...what in the hell are ya doing here?! I thought you said this was wrong...
Ashi: Don't get all bent out of shape for seeing the one person who does think this is just a waste of time, here.
Puju: ...Then, what should I do...?
Ashi: .........YOU'VE GOTTA GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But the Monks are sw337...
Puju: Um....how did you get here anyway...?
Ashi: Well, I was going to stay with my 9th grade history teacher, but he kind of didn't like the fact that I was going to be anti-social, yet again, so he made me come with him. I guess you could call me his 'partner in judgement'. So, uh...are ya going to get me out of here or what...?
Puju: ...
Ashi: ...? What's wrong???
Puju: -n't really like it an...
Ashi: what???
Puju: ...Could you get me a free Sprite????
Ashi: *falls over*
*...oh! That had to hurt! Looks like the monk punched the lancer....right into the wall!*
Zephyre: *grins evily* He doesn't have anything on you Zelgadis...
Zelgadis: ...you know, I'm really thinking about drop-kicking you...
Zephyre: *feigns fear*
*...on the other end of the battlefield, the ninjas are making sport of...?? The assassins??? But wait! The priests look like they've remembered another spell. Maybe it's...Holy???* :: bright blue light envelops everyone on the battlefield and fades ::
Priest #1: Nice going Priest #4. We ARE NOT supposed to heal the enemy!
:: explosion sounds in background :: *OH! Looks like the Time Mages have Demi-ed most of the priests! Wait... what's this? The knights have taken the time mage's victory-distraction and cut up their triangle hats! This is very bad for the time mages. Most of their magic power comes from those hats!*
Gourry: I knew they'd come through! If the knights keep cutting the magic users mp, they're bound to at least make 4th place!
All: >_>'
*What's this??? Looks like the ninjas have gained the advantage on the assassins! But how is this??? I thought the assassins were just the more-skilled...and evil. Let's go to our inside camera....*
Ninja #3: You have dishonaad ta Honaa tat is tat of Ta Secret Art!
Ninja #1: Yes, tat is right. And now you will now pay tis dishonaaing for Ta Great Mastaa by your deaths!
Ninja #2: Basically, we're saying that you've ripped us off and we're just gonna skin ya alive.
Ninja #4: Aw! Ninja #2! You ruined our chance at big time Chinese-fighting flick tat would be rated 2 stars in Americaa!
The rest of the ninjas: *sigh in defeat*
Assassins: O.o----> > )
Assassin #2: Ahhh, so you tink you can beat us??? Well it just so happens tat Ta Great Mastaa himself trained us! We assassins are trained to assassinate tose who oppose Ta Great Mastaa...and tose who annoy him!!
Ninja #2: I knew there was something buggin' about that guy...
Ninja #1: AHHH! You have dishonaad our clan! Now we have ta kill you, Ninja #2!
Ninja #3: It is not like we did not want to anyway.
Ninja #4: Without our dishonaaing not-so-comarade anymore, we will be strengthened by Ta Great Mastaa himself!
*The assassins and Ninja #'s 1, 3, and 4 have apparently joined a short alliance to kill Ninja #2....o.o'. Well, now they're back at fighting each other! What a strange plot twist here at Battle of the Character Classes.*
Amelia: *grimaces* Sometimes Honor isn't all it's cracked up to be...
Zephyre: *sneers* They were already cracked to begin with.
*Looks like the rest of the ninjas and the four assassins have been enveloped in a well-placed time stream manhole placed by a time mage!*
Atalya: *on the verge of tears* Oh no...! The assassins won't win???
Filia: *arrogantly* Well of course not! They were evil!
Zephyre: ...and I suppose the Tricksters were just 'mislead'?
Filia: That's not what I meant!
Ertai: Of course that's what you meant.
Xellos: *outta of nowhere with 'that grin'* You really do love us Filia, don't you???
*Hey! Looks like some girl with blonde hair has wacked this guy with purple hair with a mace! And he's coming straight for-!! :: crash :: Xellos: Well hello! It's great to finally meet you Mr. Color Commentator! Anouncer guy: Uh...yeah*
Aydin: *has just come and is standing* Well that was predictable. A little belated, nonetheless.
Amelia: Wow, Mr. Aydin! when did you get here???
Aydin: Unfortunately, I've been here. That purple-headed freak decided on sneaking me in by teleport. I guess he was getting tired of just Zephyre's complaining.
Zephyre: *calmly* I'm not complaining. I'm informing of the atrocity that is this mindless display of wasting everyone's time.
Zelgadis: *with excitement...weird, ne?* Yes! The monks are undefeatble! Those Lancers don't stand a chance!
All: O_O' [no words to seeing him like that...]
*And the Lancers have tried their fail-proof javelin spear from all sides on the last monk [that wasn't tricked by the Tricksters in the first half]. :: the javelins all break off :: What's this? It seems the Monks literally have 'abs of steel'.*
*from the judge's table...*
Puju&Ashi: .....MONKS ARE B34S7!!!!!!
*back in the stands...*
Aydin: ...Well...uh...that was sweet...*is still standing*
*from thousands of rows behind* Guy: 'EY! DOWN IN FRON'!!!!!! *conks Aydin in the head with a full Cherry Coke can. Aydin, in turn falls over*
Aydin: *gets back up, furious* WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!
Guy: FER YA STANDIN' THER LIKE SOME KINDA IDIOT!!!!
Aydin: AND THAT'S COMING FROM A SPEECH-DEPRIVED HICK!!!
Guy: YOU'D BETTER CALM DOWN THER, CITY SLICKER! AFORE I GE' OL' SUSAN!!!
Aydin: XD! WHO THE HECK IS SUSAN??? I THINK I'M GONNA GO FIND MY MOMMA...XD
Guy: YOU'D BETTER SON, CAUSE SUSAN'S MA DOUBLE BARREL SHOTGUN!!!
Aydin: O_O *twitching*
*It appears that we have yet another dispute in the stands...and it looks like one of them is armed! Looks like the one with the shotgun is chasing someone. Run guy, run!*
:: Aydin is being chased of the stands and onto the floor of the arena ::
Guy: C'mon City Slicker, dance! :: shoots a couple of rounds :: I know ya got some better moves than that! Why dun ya do some of that technical-devil music moves??? :: shoots some more, but Aydin ducks and it ricochet's off the Monk's body and takes out some of the roof. Part of the roof then falls onto the Monk, and the Guy. They go unconscious and the monk is technically 'defeated'. ::
Zelgadis: WHAT A CHEAP SHOT!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS SO COINCIDENTAL IT SHOULDN'T COUNT!!!!!!!!!
Amelia: Mr. Zelgadis...you're foaming at the mouth....
*To bring the game up to date, the wizards are disqualified, the tricksters are defeated...as well as the ninjas, assassins, lancers [they were crushed by the monks' pure strength. Fists pierced right through their armor.] and monks. That leaves the Time Mages, Priests and Knights.*
Gourry: Hey look! The Knights are gonna do something!
Knight #1: In the name of the [anciently] late King Arthur, and that of the medieval times; We must forfeit. We still uphold our Code of Chivalry and protect the Lady. Therefore, by our delegations, we can no longer continue this match! :: with that declared they leave::
*It seems the Knights have been defeated by their way of life...[the priests, time mages and assassins were represented by girls this year]*
Zephyre: Well that's just stupid. It's inevitable that at least three classes will have girl representatives every year. The knights will almost ALWAYS be boys...so, it's like they're almost always guarunteed to never win!!!
*The Priests and Time Mages are duking it out, literally, since they've all used up their mp, and they don't know chakra, or move hp-up or move mp-up. But since they really are horrible with physical attacks...it'll take forever to determine the winner. And I don't plan on being here that long...hmm?? Looks like the judge's don't either! They've been disqualified for non-rationalizing their mp!!*
*~* The Conclusion *~*
Announcer guy: Well, it seems as though our winner is...the summoner...I guess everyone was so busy fighting that they forgot a summoner was even in the match! How silly of them! Well anyway, the summoner wins by default because we wouldn't want to clean up the mess after a Zodiac...you know how it is...maybe next year everyone...
*~*The Aftermath*~*
Ertai: That was -SOOOO- gr8! Let's reenact! *casts 'Don't Move' on Xelloss*
Xelloss: oh no!! I can't move!! *don't move wears off just as meteor is about to hit* AHHHH!! *teleports away* This is what that IDIOT should have done!!! I'm telling you, next year is in the bag!
Filia: Yeah....for the PRIESTS!!!
Zephyre: You guys are such geeks...
Zelgadis: Yeah, combined with some moronic tendencies, they can be pretty annoying little dorks, can't they?
*All pile into Puju's Jeep*
Ertai: I WANNA DRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!
Puju: ...
Ertai: Pleeeeeeease? ^_________________________^
Puju: Well, I don't suppose it-
Zephyre: NO! You CAN'T! I REFUSE, -REFUSE-, I tell ya! I won't get in! NOT while -HE'S- driving!!!
Filia: HOW COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOULD YOOOOOOOOOOOU?!!?! Puju!!! ERTAI IS MANIFESTED -EVIL-!! HE MUST NOT BE ENTRUSTED WITH JEEPS!!!!!!
Amelia: Aren't you overreacting? Maybe Mister Ertai is a -good- driver...aren't you, Mister Ertai?
Ertai: Well, I've been told I have potential to be a successful driver! ^_^
Zephyre: *thinks* Hmmm...'Pontentially successsful driver'? How much potential is needed to step on a piece of plastic? Oh, wait a minute....*finished thinking for now ^_~* YOU ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!! WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU YOU COULD DRIVE POTENTIALLY SUCCUSSFULLY?!?!
Ertai: *drives* WHEEEEEEEE-um......no one. I made that up. ^______________________________________^
Zelgadis: *incerdulously* LOOK AT HOW -FAST- HE'S GOING!!!!!!
Puju: *sigh of relief* Good! Now he'll be pulled over and....
*Grand Cherokee Jeep crunches into a Dodge Sebring*
Puju: ...oh my God. oh.........my..........God........MY JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, um, are you guys okay?
Lina: I was 'till you said -that-.....
Ertai: GOD DAMN MOTHER F*CKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH -YOU-, CHIEF?!?!?! YOU MUST BE ONE OF THEM GOD DAMNED -SKIRTS-!!!!!!!!![a/n: kind of an inside j/k...]
Puju: *looks over at Atalya* Three........Two.........One......
Atalya: What kind of statement was -that-?!
Ertai: A sexist one, I know, but you must admit, women should not be on the road, driving machines with internal combustion engines. ^^'
Atalya: And why -NOT-?!
Ertai: It's just the law.
Gourry: Women drivers, no survivors...
Atalya: O_O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -----------> >_
Puju: How to end such a ridiculous tale?
