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SURPRISE! The Trickster Squared!
Ashi: SO what do you know! Lina being told off by Zephyre!
Lina: I'd rather not reminice if I were you...
Ashi: ^^' Anyway...I originally wanted Inteus to be just a stupid story by-standard kinda guy...but...I guess he turned out that way!
Zelgadis: So what was the point in telling them your so called 'original' preposition?
Ashi: I guess nothing actually. ^.^
*all fall over*
[by Puju]
Gourry yawned. It was turning out to be one of those days when everyone seemed to be against you. He was getting tired of Atalya and Amelia's speeches about love and justice and all that stuff, tired of Zephyre's snappy comebacks and seemingly endless wit, tired of Zelgadis' habit of drowning himself in self-pity, and on top of all this, he just couldn't seem to earn any points with Lina! 'Maybe she's tired...' Gourry thought.
"I SAID that meatball was MINE, Amelia!" she growled at the defiant Princess.
"Well, I say it's MINE!" she snarled in response.
"You know...."Zephyre stated flatly, "Isn't all this fighting injust? Shouldn't you be more diplomatic about this?"
"Are you suggesting they vote, Zephyre?" Zelgadis sighed.
"I wish Miss Lina would share; she's eaten 35% of everyone else's food, including her own!" Atalya said.
"I wish Miss Lina would grow up..." Filia sighed.
"I wish Lina would grow, period." Gourry said. This, of course, got Gourry into big trouble with Lina, as well as a Burst Rondo from across the table.
"No TALKING!!" she shouted from across the table, and proceeded to pilfer more food from Gourry.
"Aaaah! Li-na!" Gourry whined.
"You know what," Zephyre began, but was suddenly cut off by Filia. She looked around nervously, and brought out her mace. Lina, suddenly looked up with a piece of chicken still in her mouth.
"W-wumph goinph on?" she stammered. Filia held up a hand to silence her. The rest of the party sat in silence waiting for Filia to state the problem at hand.
"What's wrong?" Atalya snapped impatiently.
"......I....." Filia said. She then began to convulse profusely.
"Miss Filia!" cried Amelia, with saucer eyes." Please tell us what's wrong!"
"......I.....I.......I s-...........I SMELL COFFEE!!!! The HORROR!!" she shrieked, and then fainted. The remainder of the Slayers crew facefaulted.
"Oh whatEVER!" Zephyre grumbled.
"Wait!" Filia cried. "I really DO feel something this time!" she brought her mace back out.
"What is it? Zelgadis sighed, skeptically.
"Xellos." she hissed. Everyone but Zephyre and Atalya readied themselves.
"Xellos? Who's that?" Atalya said, dumbfounded.
" A Mazoku." Filia sneered.
"An especially powerful Mazoku." Lina elaborated.
"A MAZOKU?!" Atalya cried. "Well....it's obvious that this being MUST be punished, seeing as he is evil and all..." she said, in a dignified manner.
"No!" Zephyre snapped. "We have NO time for that nonsense. This is the real thing. You had better be ready with more than a speech and a, 'burning passion to bring the world to justice'," Zephyre mocked.
"You could've found a better way to say that...." Atalya pouted, but readied a Gamma Sphere, just the same. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting on 'the Purple one', he finally decided to appear.
"So! How goes it for my favorite demon slaying, underdeveloped, sorceress, and bubble-headed, tea-obsessed, Dragon?" Xellos said cheerfully. He then took notice of Zephyre and Atalya. "Hmmm. New recruits, I see. How are you, ladies?" Zephyre groaned, while Atalya shuddered, and then proceeded to point a finger at him, in a very Amelia-like way.
"You! Yes, you! The Mazoku with the purple hair! What business do you have with Lina Inverse? State your issues quickly, or she'll have to kill you!"
Zel groaned, "Lina's not that powerfu-,"
"Let her finish. She needs to learn that this isn't how you deal with this type of enemy..." Zephyre sighed and sweatdropped.
"And better now than later." Lina stated flatly.
"If she's capable of learning...." Zel sweatdropped.
"Lina can kill any monster! She's the most powerful sorceress alive!" Atalya continued, much to Xellos' amusement.
"Ah. I see you hold Miss Lina in high regard. Well, you should, as far as her sorcery skills go...in other areas.....Lina's not quite as 'developed'"
"Arrgh!" Lina cried. "FIREBALL!" It missed.
"I'm afraid that simply won't do, Miss Lina. Your accuracy could use some work." Xellos grinned and waggled a finger.
"Atalya," Amelia whispered, "I have a plan to get rid of Xellos, but I need your help..."
As Lina and Xellos continued to fight, and Gourry and Filia found their way into the battle, Amelia and Atalya found the highest places in the area to stand on. Suddenly, they cast Lightning spells to gain everyone's attention.
" *Ahem* Ready Atalya?" Amelia said.
"Always!" Atalya replied.
"Okay...." Amelia said. "Xellos! Prepare yourself!"
"Justice Twins Power! Activate! ELMEKIA LANCE!" Atalya and Amelia cried in unison. Naturally, the spell passed right through Xellos, as Zephyre slapped her forehead, and Zel facefaulted.
"What were they thinking?!" Zel cried.
Zephyre sighed, " 'Elmekia Lance'? Was that they best they could do?"
Instead of trying again, Atalya fell to her knees. "Mister Xellos....You're too strong!"
"We'll never be able to defeat you! You're so powerful!" Amelia followed. "What were we thinking, Atalya? Mister Xellos is so strong...we shouldn't be fighting him! We should be fighting with him!"
Xellos' eyes snapped open in shock.
"Yeah!" Atalya agreed. They rushed up to a very disturbed-looking Xellos.
"WE LOVE YOU MISTER XELLOSS!!" They shouted.
Xellos looked as if he were about to faint right there on the spot. Atalya kissed him(on the cheek; don't be gross), and Amelia hugged him like a big Teddy Bear.
"Bleech...." Xellos spat. He suddenly regained his composure. "I, um, ah, Beast Master calls! I shouldn't make her wait. See ya!" He teleported away in a hurry.
"Ha!" Atalya said triumphantly. "And you said not to use speeches."
"Yeah, whatEVER..." Zephyre grumbled.
"Yeah Zeph. Give credit where credit is due." Zel mocked.
"You didn't think they could do it either!" she complained.
"Maybe...but we're not talking about me." Zel said coolly.
"That's right!" Atalya said. "Now apologize."
"I'm sorry..." Zephyre grumbled.
"You should be."
"Alright, children!" Filia said. " *stress mark* Now....we need to find out what Xellos wanted."
"Good luck with that; no one ever knows what's up with Xellos."
A mysterious voice said. Everyone whirled around to see where the voice came from. It belonged to a man sitting at the table behind theirs.
"What?" Lina said as the man got up and walked over to them. "Who are you, and how do you know Xellos?"
"He's...an acquaintance...of mine." The man leaned closer to Lina.
"You're...Lina Inverse aren't you?" he inquired.
"Who wants to know?" Lina frowned suspiciously.
"Yeah." Gourry said. "That's Lina."
"Gou-rry!" she whined. "I could've charged him for that information!"
As everyone else sweatdropped, the man laughed.
"You must be Lina Inverse...I heard that there's no one greedier."
"You'd better believe it!" Gourry exclaimed.
"Hahaha! Well, your friend seems to have a high opinion of you, Miss Inverse..."
"*stress mark* ANYway....answer my question; who are you, and why are you here?" Lina groaned.
"Ah...you need not worry about my credibility, simply because of my affiliation with Xellos. You see, I'm Ertai, priest of Dynast Grauscherra. You know, one of the Dark Lords of Shabranigdo?"
"DYNAST GRAUSCHERRA?!" Lina exclaimed. "No one's heard from him in years!"
Ertai frowned at this. "Yes...he claims to be in hiding, but I refer to his behavior as of late as laziness.
"Wow." Amelia marveled. "If you're a priest of a Dark Lord, then you must also be a Mazoku, right?"
Everyone else groaned as Ertai answered, "Yes, that's right."
"But...you don't act like a Mazoku..." Amelia said sheepishly.
"Ah. Well then, would you be so kind as to show me the correct way, miss?" Ertai said snottily.
"Um, well, it's just that...you talk a lot more than Xellos ever did, and you actually give up information, too."
"Yes...well...don't expect this in the future; I just figured pulling a Xellos on you would be wrong. I mean, you must not know anything hanging out with him."
"In the future?" Filia pondered. "Meaning we'll see you again?"
"Oh most definitely! Lina Inverse is very popular among the Mazoku race. She's like a five-star hotel!"
Lina blushed. "Well....I wouldn't say that...teehee..."
"He's saying that you're good for a meal. Meaning you have absolutely no self-control, which would be the truth." Zephyre groaned.
"Yeah! Really!" Gourry said.
"You're losing major brownie points today, aren't you?" Filia sighed as Lina proceeded to pummel Gourry with a Dil Brando.
"Brownies? Where?!" Gourry cried. "Ow! Li-naa!"
"Hahaha! Be seeing you, Lina Inverse! Good luck with these people..." Ertai teleported away.
"His appearance here concerns me..." Zel said quietly to Zephyre.
"Yeah...we'll have to make an effort to keep an eye on that one..." Zephyre agreed.
*~*Next Morning...*~*
The Slayers Crew, plus Atalya and Zephyre were on their way through the Dessert of Ancients to Seyruun, because....well....because they needed information, since it was most likely that they would be fighting against Dynast Grauscherra this time, and what better place to expand one's knowledge than the White Magic Capital of the World? However, the depression of heat and fatigue was getting to them faster than they could get to Seyruun. Desserts can be like that. Especially this one.
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"I said, NO."
"How about now?"
"AUUUUUUUUGH!!"
It was becoming evident that Zephyre was growing more and more tired of Atalya's crap....and so, it would seem, everyone was, as well. Lots of her statements on the way included:
"Can't we stop? My feet hurt..."
"Why is it taking so long?"
"I'm hot. And thirsty. And hungry. And tired."
"Are we there yet?"
"*gasps* Look at the sale prices on those skirts! And they're so cute, too!"
Finally, the Slayers crew decided to take action. "OH!!!!! WILL YOU BE QUIET?!" Zelgadis screamed at the top of his lungs.
Gourry groaned, "Yeah, and while you're at it, shut up, too!"
"That's the same thing, Yogurt brain." Lina sighed.
Gourry gave her a puzzled look. "The same thing as what?"
"*groan* YOU'RE getting on my nerves too...almost as bad as her!" Lina sighed, indicating Atalya.
Zephyre nodded, "If you feel the need to stop, Atalya, then do so, but we most certainly are not waiting for you."
"Miss Atalya, maybe you shouldn't whine so much, because my head hurts..." whined Amelia.
Filia gasped, as though struggling for air. "And I need........TEA!!!! What god could put me in a position such as this, with no TEA to compensate?!"
"Will everyone stop BITCHING?! You're giving me a headache!!" Lina shouted.
"You've all been giving me a headache from the very beginning of this fic!!" Zelgadis shouted.
Zephyre sighed. "Okay...everyone just needs to calm down, and everything will be okay...just....calm..."
*silence ensues as everyone looks at each other awkwardly*
*shouting starts up again as Xellos appears
"Everyone! Quiet down! You're disturbing the peace!"
*Everyone looks at Xellos awkwardly*
Xellos proceeds to clarify his previous statement. "That's my job!"
*Slayers Crew Facefaults*
Filia screamed "Why are you here?!"
"That.....would be a secret. I'm sorry, Miss Filia."
"Not as sorry as you're going to be!"
*Xellos twitches -_-# then runs away, pursued closely by Filia, and at a distant third, the remainder of the Slayers w/ Atalya and Zephyre*
"I'm gonna get you, Purple boy!"
Eventually, Xellos decides to teleport away, leaving behind an extremely fatigued Golden Dragon and Slayers Crew. Filia fell to one knee. That scrimmage with Xellos had taken more out of her than she'd expected. Suddenly, to our heroes' dismay, Ertai appears.
"Way to go. You almost got him." Ertai said, unenthusiastically.
"Oh, shut up!" Filia snorted. She needed tea soon, or....the results were too much for her to think about right now. Now she had to concentrate on Namagomi Jr., more commonly known as Ertai. She swung her mace furiously, and, much to everyone's, including Ertai's, surprise, she hit him.
"Ow! What's your deal? Do you usually go around, swinging heavy objects at people?"
"You're not a person! You're a demon, piece of trash, pile of Namagomi!"
Ertai sighed. "Your friendly neighborhood Mazoku forgives you. Don't worry about it." he said, waggling a finger.
As she rose to whack him again, Zephyre grabbed Filia's mace arm. "Okay. Why are you here, and what do you want?" Zephyre demanded.
"Oh, I just thought that maybe I should check up on you, to make sure you don't kill each other."
"I'm sure." Zelgadis sniffed.
"You don't believe me?" Ertai asked, innocently.
"Tell us why we should, and we'll think about it." Lina proposed.
Ertai, while obviously not agreeing with this solution, decided to comply. "Because...."
"Because...?" Lina asked hopefully.
"....I know something you don't know!" Ertai teased, giggling as the Slayers Crew facefaulted.
"Oh man...."Gourry sighed. "That's almost as bad as Xelloss saying..."
"DON'T say it!" Lina, Filia, and Zelgadis shouted in unison.
Ertai sighed. "To be honest, I just wanted to suggest that you get rid the Ancient Mahamoti Djinn which lives in this dessert."
"Hence the name." Gourry said. Unusually sharp for him.
"Very good!" Ertai mocked.
"It's considered injust to patronize people." Amelia said, mater-of-factly.
"Does anyone care?" Zelgadis groaned.
"Mister Zelgadis, that's so mean!"
"Yeah, Mister Zelgadis! That's mean!" Zephyre mocked. "Way to go."
"Don't encourage him, Miss Zephyre!" Amelia cried.
"He causes so many problems for people...don't you think it would be a good idea to rid the world of his presence?" Ertai added. "Besides," he continued. "That whole 'ruthless bandit killer' thing is bound to pass when people hear you did something unselfish."
"Wow!" Amelia cried. "That's a great idea, Mister Ertai!" Atalya exclaimed.
"Yeah," Amelia added,"to rid the world of this Djinn of injustice that persists to plague the world! It's so just!...in an....injust sort of way, since you would benefit from it, Miss Lina....but I say....go for it!"
"So anyway...." Lina sighed. "Can you tell us anything about this Mahamoti Djinn?"
"Other than Proceed w/ Caution? Not really." Ertai said. "but," he added, "You might not want to try Wind magic. All the info I can provide for now. Gotta go!" Ertai disappeared with a flash of black light.
"What's with the flourish exit? He could've done without that..." Zephyre sighed.
"Well....it looks like we're going to have to take this Djinn thing out. Let's go!" Lina cried.
Zelgadis groaned. It would seem as though he was going along on another wild goose chase with Lina. How very depressing...
